The Negativity Monster

Written May 14 2018

The insidious negativity monster says, “Feed me.” It longs to be seen, heard, and expressed, vs. repressed. When super active, it can hardly go a moment without being fed by the sharing of a negative comment, criticism, or hopelessness. It turns on others just as easily as it does itself.

“That makes me so mad (sad, angry….).

That pisses me off.

I hate that (thing, person, situation).

That’s so stupid.

They’re idiots.

What a dumb f*ck.

I’m an idiot. I’m wrong. I’m broken. I’m ill.

They’re crazy.

That’s so wrong. How dare they.

This is so hard. It’s so challenging.

That annoys me.

That irritates me.

This is so frustrating.

That's a problem.

I can only see things getting worse from here.

I’ll never be _____ or feel _____.... (well, better, happy, abundant, find my soulmate…)

I’m not as good at that, or as you…. (feelings of inferiority, insecurity, worthlessness…)

That just kills me.

That just makes me so sick.”

Those phrases may sound like someone you know, live with, or what goes on inside your head, or comes out of your mouth occasionally, or on a regular basis.

These are direct, subtle, and not-so-subtle ways that negativity, judgment, and criticism stay alive in our thoughts, language, bodies, and lives. What we say most often is an indicator of where our consciousness is at, and it shows us (and others) whether are not we are truly happy. If we are truly happy and emotionally free, it just doesn’t arise anymore to spend time seeing anything as less than peace, love, and happiness. When it just doesn’t make sense anymore, the pattern has burned itself out.

But how do you get to the point where you are no longer fighting, blaming, complaining, and spewing negativity everywhere you go like a malfunctioning Willy Wonka machine?

When entrenched in the negativity of a looping ego, the experiences of “less than” moves to the top of the list of familiarity and comfort in the mind and gets shuffled on repeat. It can feel like you are the victim of your own negativity and that it has “control of you, and even though you want to stop it, you don’t feel like you can.” Somehow it “wins” every time, despite your best intentions.

To bust out of the constant cycling and recycling of feelings and experiences we wish we could break free from, we need to put in something new. We need to feed and water the plants that we want to grow – with vital nutrients like positivity, encouragement, acceptance, support, and love.

It does take awareness. It takes commitment and dedication. It takes a strong enough desire for change. Sometimes it takes life showing us what’s at stake, or what we can lose, for it to become important enough to look at. The ego will not like any of that. The ego will say, “That’s too much work. I will fail. It’ll work for a bit, but it’ll never stick. I can’t do it, I shouldn’t even try. I am doomed to suffer forever.”

The first step is catching onto the ego’s game. You know how it works. You know what it will fall back on. You know it knows just the right “downer phrase” to say to you to get you to give up so it can continue its unchanged negativity fest!

But, love always wins. Love is always the highest and most powerful vibration and frequency. It can heal, bring people together, and manifest the most miraculous miracles beyond imagination.


Thank the ego for its place in your life – it IS necessary for certain levels of practical functioning. Remind it that just because you are choosing to live a kinder, gentler, more loving life, doesn’t mean it’s out of a job. It’s like a child that needs to be reassured that it will not be banished and removed from your love. It needs love, too. Everything in life is a gift of some sort and here to help your soul evolve – even the shadow, negativity, and the ego. Face it; embrace it.



Instead of using your breath and life force energy to tell everyone what you think is bad, wrong, and “so terrible” in your life, tell them what’s good, great, super-duper, terrific, amazing, fabulous, and incredible. Look for it, and you will find it. Speak out what is right and good, and watch your life change. When your perception of your reality shifts, reality will then catch up with your new patterns, your new way of thinking, being, and moving in the world. It can take patience and time (which of course are not friends of the ego), but the rewards are great. It can be life-saving and relationship-saving.

What you focus on, nurture, and nourish will grow. Your mind doesn’t know the difference between what’s real or unreal. It thinks whatever is running through your head is real. So, you might as well offer it images, words, thoughts, phrases, feelings of empowerment, excitement, kindness, and love.

If you have tight hamstrings and want to walk more easily, spend time every day seeing yourself walking with ease on the beach. In some dimension, you already are! If your lungs are tight, feel your lungs expand like butterfly wings and open up to take flight with full, deep breaths. If you wish your spouse, dog, or children were acting differently or more harmoniously, see yourself building new, deeper, more intimate relationships of peace with them. Bless them, and tell them what is right in the world. Tell them what they are doing well, and what you love the most about them. If your bank account doesn’t have as many dollars in it as you wish, see yourself having more than enough to share with others – doing happy, fun things that make your heart swell with joyful aliveness.

I know if I leave the planet in this next breath, I want to go out not sharing things that annoy, frustrate, or “tick me off,” I want the words on my lips to be words of love. I want those words to be sweet honey that shows the Beloved how much I care, I enjoy, I cherish, and how deeply I was willing to love. <3


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