Life Can Be Hard Sometimes, But Support Comes in Unexpected Ways
I trust that help arrives when it’s needed. Angels appear to us in so many forms. The question is, will our eyes and heart be open enough to see, feel, and recognize it?
I recently experienced the unexpected loss of something very dear and precious to me. It was nestling itself into a very sweet, special place in my heart. The grief of loss and sudden change was immediate and profound in its ripple across my life. I knew this would require all of my inner resources to navigate the choppy waters with self-love.
Some Great Ways to Move Through Grief and Stay Open to Life:
- Feel and face the feelings coming up full on. Cry out, feel the loss, shock, anger....whatever is required by the emotion is arising to get your attention.
- Sleep. Nap. The body gets fatigued and needs extra renewal time as you go through the depths of emotional turmoil.
- Make sure to love the body by remembering to eat and choose high-quality, nutrient dense, supportive foods – not going for the carbs and sweets. And -- hydration, hydration, hydration! Water with a squeeze of lemon and pink Himalayan sea salt for extra absorption is super supportive.
- Move the body (not only a state change, but circulates the energy of emotions). Take a walk and get fresh air and sunshine. Dance to your favorite music. It might be just flowing and swaying, or a groovy jam...whatever feels good.
Taking my own advice, I cried while the birds, squirrels, and deer looked at me….perhaps wondering what was different today from yesterday. I’m not sure if deer “wonder,” but it makes me smile to think that they do!
I got myself out of the house and went to the post office—trying to take solace in the mundane tasks, while showing life I am still willing to engage.
Across from the post office is the cutest little house that is a lawyer’s office. It had been on my “to do list” to go over and ask them if they know the names of the paints they used on their exterior. I love the colors and wanted to use it as a guide for painting my new house. Even though it felt like a struggle to wipe the tears away and be social, I drove over to check it out.
When I saw they were closed, I was almost relieved for a moment and prepared to drive away. But then angel lawyer Mike drove up. I asked if this was his place and told him I loved the beautiful paint job. He said many people had stopped over the years to ask that same question.
He kindly encouraged me to take a paint chip and come back as many times as I needed to get the color right. He then asked if I wanted to see the inside of his place. I am so glad I said yes.
Mike used to be in the military on a submarine. I checked out all his office photos of the subs, his old upright piano, vinyl records and turntable, a vintage telegraph machine, and a gorgeous old typewriter with a fascinating history.
His walls were filled with artwork of boats in marinas, and lots of photos of sailboats. I asked if he had a sailboat. He said he loved them, but had never been sailing, but always wanted to go. The angel in me wanted to grant that wish instantly and I suddenly wanted to own a boat so that I could take him and his wife out the very next day! He was so incredibly kind, authentic, and generous of heart.
My grief felt lighter as I pondered how to serve this kind, gentle soul who was serving me as a healer in more ways than he knew by appearing in my reality at just the right moment, on the perfect day!
I asked if he knew any local photographers where I could get some professional photos of the local boats and marina. He told me he had two leads and would follow up on them the next day and call me. He winked, and said he wouldn’t charge me his usual trial lawyer rate for .25 hours of his time. We laughed.
I thanked him for that and told him I was new in town and just getting to know everyone and everything here and was so loving how friendly everyone is—present company included!
He asked if I needed anything else. I thought about it for a moment and replied, “Actually, yes. I’m looking for an eco-friendly way to get the ants that are coming into my house back out into the woods.” Again, he said he had a contact and would call them up for me and let me know. And he did!
At that moment, I heard a giant meow and met the second angel—Jack. He is a large orange tabby with “a Jay Leno chin,” those were Mike’s words, not mine. Jack, like all empathic cats, came and loved me up good. He knew right where to send the love. I relaxed more and dropped more into peace and comfort with these two amazing souls. I pet Jack while Mike and I chatted. He shared incredible details about his life, and took an interest in mine.
As I stood to go, he said to be sure to let me know how my house painting goes, and the situation with the ants, and if I get my boat photos. He told me to drop by any time to say hello, or just to visit with Jack. Apparently the locals drop in just for their “Jack fix” all the time. I definitely wanted to be in that club. I knew I had made a new friend and it couldn’t have come a moment too soon. I knew it will do his heart and my heart good to see him again soon.
I left his sweet office with a smile on my face, a little less ache in my heart, and filled with gratitude for how angels are all around us. I have spent so much of my life as an artist, performer, and healer giving to others and uplifting and inspiring their journey. I DO believe that what you put out into the world comes back to you. Today it did. My tears are now a mixture of sadness, hopeful elation for our whole collective planet, and gratitude for how the simplest of kind-hearted gestures can reach out and touch someone in the most profound way. Thank you Mike and Jack for being the wind in my sails today. I will be forever grateful.
Life is beyond perfect it its orchestration of all the infinite, intertwined moving parts. Our interconnection and intersection points are a thing of wonder and beauty. I am humbled and awed by the mystery of life.
Grief can be crippling, but only for a moment in time. It may be a short or long moment. Only grief knows how long it needs to be here. It will transform and lift when it is time to lift. We cannot stuff it down, push it away, or try to get it to leave any faster than it is meant to.
Grief can squeeze, crush, and pulverize what needs to be turned to dust, so we may rise from the ashes. In the toughest of times, I always find comfort in saying softly and sweetly to myself “It’s not forever, it’s just right now.” And then I say, “I love you dear one. I love you. I love you innocent one, I love you.”
If you could use a lift today in your life, please join me in the “I love yous” to your own heart.