From time to time, the question is posed, “Why does Matt Kahn have to swear in his talks?” Or I hear “I don’t think using curse words is very spiritual or conscious.” Healing sometimes requires Shakti energy, and sometimes Shiva energy. Matt always intuitively serves in whatever way will be received by the most hearts longing to open, to heal, and to love more deeply than ever before.
As Matt often says, “Words inherently have no meaning, except for the meanings we have learned, or assign to people, places, and things.” He invites inquiry with the question, “What do you hear when I say the word -- world, peace, cat, dog, breeze, love, hate, spiritual, consciousness, etc.?”
You hear the sound of a word. You hear a series of sounds strung together. You hear a noise produced by vocal cords. It’s the meaning part that makes life a rather “interesting” journey of perception. All words are comprised of energy. All words are expressions of consciousness.
When we have different meanings we give to words than someone else, different associations or judgments connected to words, or different feelings triggered by words or a series of words strung together in phrases, that’s when the inflamed ego can come out to play. There’s no right or wrong in that. All perspectives are perfectly valid. However, some perspectives feel better to the body and an opening heart, than others. People and countries go to war over the meaning of words. There can be great passion and staunchly entrenched righteousness that arises in connection to the labels given to things.
What happens when a word is just the sound of a word? Nothing more, nothing less. If sincerely explored deep enough, you may find neutrality. You may find that the “hot spots,” the triggers, the inflammation around it – disappears. It becomes just the experience of sounds, vibrations, and frequencies. And then you can go beyond that….beyond even the description of experience. I’ve personally been on a deep, intense journey with the word, “fuck.” As a child, it was a word I grew up with in my household that was used very angrily, harshly, and violently. Being an energetically sensitive child it was extremely scary and always a chaotic tornado of emotions when I was exposed to it. It happened when there was too much alcohol consumed, erupting in volatile frustration and yelling that completely dismantled my nervous system. It was a word that prompted a “fight or flight”, “duck and cover,” and “walk on eggshells” response. The word got hooked into feeling unsafe.
In later years in junior high and high school it was sent in my direction in overtly sexual ways that were meant to demean, to demonstrate “power over,” and again, served to reinforce a feeling of being unsafe. I vehemently disliked the word -- how it looked, sounded, and felt in my body. It felt mean, ugly, and frightening. It was connected through my associations to emotional pain, stress, and victimhood. I didn’t like hearing it, and I certainly wouldn’t ever be caught uttering any swear words. I wouldn’t let them cross my lips. I felt trapped in the constriction I felt in my body as I was so easily offended by the use of language.
Fast forward to today at this point on Life’s path. Words are words. They are misunderstood and misinterpreted all the time. How often do people mean one thing and something else entirely comes out? We all deserve the benefit of the doubt and much more love, support, and relaxation around the use of words. Wherever possible, of course, it is lovely to use words as tools of consciousness….whatever the words are that we choose to use in any moment.
Matt and I always find it is a better bet to go with the energy of the words. Now I feel and intuit deeper than the words suggest. No matter the actual words spoken and how they are assembled in sentences, what does the person want to convey to me? Are they saying what one would call “nice words,” but delivering them from a passive-aggressive place? Are they saying what one might call “mean words,” but aren’t intending to hurt at all?
There can be a seemingly harshly delivered angry “Fuck you*^%#@ !!” said, but where is the energy behind it being directed? Is it just a very hurt, wounded, insecure person trying to express their unhappiness, frustration, lack of confidence, or feelings of worthlessness? Or there can be a joyful, exuberant “Fuck yeah!” said in the spirit of support and celebration. Those are both very different energetic experiences.
While I could provide wise life counsel and say “Drop the labels and heal the associations you have with words and you will be so much happier and more emotionally free in life,” that really doesn’t do many people much good. Like much of the awakening journey, when a new or different way of looking at something or experiencing something in a whole new way is ready to open up – it will. Forcing, pushing, trying to make it happen rarely speeds up the process of waking up out of past conditioning. With insights and revelations, there can sometimes be those ones that instantly “stick” and a “new you” is born. Or, other times, there is an insight and a more gradual expansion of consciousness and integration over time into a higher vibration. Spirit is wise and knows exactly how long the tea needs to steep.
Like Matt says, we don’t actually surrender, we ARE the one who is surrendered. We don’t let go, we are the one who is let go of along the way.
With more freedom than ever before to feel, be, and confidently express my Spirit, there are absolutely times that I enjoy a well-placed “swear word” as emphasis, as an exclamation mark, or to punctuate a point. The “negative charge,” trauma, fear, and stress around the words are gone. Instead, fun, playfulness, and light-heartedness are here. I never could have expected that. I didn’t try to achieve it, and in fact, I actually never saw it coming. It evolved so slowly over the years that to look back now, I can hardly believe all those other years of experiences are a part of this same one life in this this body.
Now, sometimes, a “shit” or “fuck” is consciously used (like you may have noticed Matt occasionally does) as an intuitively placed signpost that allows for a shift, a state change, or to create an energetic opening for something else to arise in one’s consciousness. It is often used in a humorous way, and is always delivered in the spirit of service and love.
“Ooooh, the goddess swears. She lets her hair down, she’s one of us.” Yes, indeed! And in that, while some may get triggered through unresolved associations and judgments, others are freed to also not hold themselves to a set of ideas or standards they have outgrown (or long to outgrow). Deep down, they want the freedom to “not give a fuck” about what anyone thinks about who they are, what they wear or do, who they wish to love as a partner, and how they express their creativity and individuality.
That wakes us up out of the need for validation and approval from others. That wakes us up into a deeper journey of the heart – where we can love, support, honor, and cherish each other just as we are…no matter the physical appearances, the words, or even the actions of another. We are all equal parts of energy, light, and matter moving through this dimension. Let’s enjoy the ride and each other, and not get hung up on the stuff that causes us to blame, shame, point fingers, contract, or feel bad about ourselves or others. Let us celebrate who we are and what we came here to express. Life shows us all the time how not to let words, the meanings we give things, and our personal likes and dislikes get in the way of our soul’s highest evolution.
I am reminded of these two precious, sweet little girls ages 5 and 7 who recently stood in line to see Matt right before one of our Soul Gatherings. As they approached him their mother leaned in and said to Matt, “They hope you’re going to swear tonight. They love it when you swear.” The girls grinned from ear to ear.